When I got my first phone at age 14, my Mom taught me ways to stay classy on social media. “Keep private stuff off the internet, don’t forward chain mail, read everything before you share…” You get the idea. If I had to bet, I’d say you’ve heard some of the same stuff growing up. So, why all the emphasis on conducting yourself well on social media?
Ultimately, this is the reason my Mom taught me: Social media is a permanent record of how you present yourself. That record exists regardless of your age or your stage of life. It lasts whether or not you’re still into that one trend you thought would be “cool” forever. Furthermore – the point most overlooked – potential colleges and employers BOTH will look at your feed before acceptance. It’s not a matter of “if;” you can count on it.
So, how your online presence reflects both in your social life and in your professional development. Think of it as your personal brand advertisement. With that in mind, what can you do about it now?
While great power- I mean, social media comes with responsibility, your favorite platforms can be so much fun! They’re more enjoyable, however, if you can rest assured knowing that they will reflect well on you in the future. As our generation’s technology access & online socializing experience increases, it’s more important than ever that we catch on to these tips. ** see Disclaimer below. **
From personal experience, inspired by my Mom, here are my Top 10 Ways to Stay Classy on Social Media!
1. Try not to post about bad days (unless it’s from a positive perspective).
Now, I’m all for realistic life representations on social media; this point is about something different from mere vulnerability. I think we all know at least one person (if not several people) whom we can tell how they’re feeling almost daily by their social media alone. The ups-and-downs, the highs-and-lows of life… it feels like we’re going on that emotional roller coaster with them! While this behavior can grow tiresome to witness, it can also earn a negative reputation for the individual.
To avoid becoming this figure in our own social media networks, it’s important to be careful when posting on bad days. You may find that it’s easier to weed out the negative outputs or just avoid posting altogether. Either way, you can ensure that both your reputation and your own emotional privacy are respected during these days (you deserve that from yourself).
On the other hand, we can all relate to having bad days. You may not know who could use the same encouragement you need. It’s okay to admit that you’re human, even publicly; just preserve your positive self-talk, reputation, and impact on your friends by acknowledging that down days have a silver lining.
2. Consider this: What does your feed say about you?
The main purposes of social media (for those who use it non-professionally) are 1) to connect with others and 2) to have fun. It only makes sense that our posts should follow those same purposes. Where do modern trends (selfies, TikTok dances, etc.) fall into this mix?
Think of this example: You meet someone new and connect on Instagram. What’s one of the first things you’ll do? If you’re like me, probably browse through their page. Even a quick overview can tell you a lot about what a person’s day-to-day interests are. Now, imagine if all you saw were selfies: What does that imply to you about the person’s interests?
Let’s switch up the scenario a little:
Imagine that the person scrolling through your feed is your potential employer at your dream job. They’re looking at your feed to get an idea of what type of person you are (colleges do this as well). Looking back, would you have kept your feed the same or changed things? It’s better to ask these questions now than later.
3. Keep your relationship private.
“A relationship is between two people, and no one else has the right to be getting involved. Most things that occur in a relationship need to be kept between the people who are in it. When other people get involved, matters get worse, privacy is ruined, rumors occur, fights get intense, and secrets are revealed. When you’re in a relationship, you solve your problems with your partner. Don’t let other people get involved and influence you in the wrong ways.”
Unknown Author
Honestly, I couldn’t sum it up better. This point isn’t about the cute moments – hand holding, lunch dates, etc. It’s about the personal, gritty details that need to stay between you and your partner. Respect your relationship (and your partner) enough to keep those elements out of the public eye. This will preserve both your individual privacy and your story together in the long run. Stay classy on social media AND in your relationship.
Side note: There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. That’s a post for another time, but keep that in mind.
4. No, God does not think you’re heartless for not sharing that post.
You’ve seen the posts I’m talking about; “Share if you’re for (insert people group here)…” “God saw you look at this post.” Then you have those that play on a next-level kind of fear; “Share or bad luck will hit in 24 hours” (I can’t stand these ones). These kinds of posts are meant to play on some degree of fear to achieve a certain goal – in these cases, to get you to share. They even threaten a negative consequence if you don’t. It’s only a matter of time until these tactics cross your social media path.
First thing to note: These posts do NOT hold that type of power. You know what you’re engaging in by sharing these posts? Free marketing for the original account.
Ultimately, it just comes down to a decision of whether or not you’re going to believe what they say. The fact/opinion that the post states could be true or interesting; it’s the guilt trip that follows that you must decide how to handle.
For me personally, the decision came down to what I believed. I just couldn’t agree with the conclusion that if I didn’t share this certain opinion on my feed, God would think less of me or punish me. If my relationship with God is dependent on what man decides to post and whether or not I react the way man says I should, I’m really in worse trouble than I thought.
God’s actions are not determined by man’s direction.
You are not heartless for not sharing that post. You are exercising maturity.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
5. Public arguments in the comments are an invasion of privacy too.
It takes almost no effort to spark a social media debate on any topic. Whether it be on a controversial matter or simply a misunderstood comment, it’s soooo easy to find that one person who’s more than willing to share their opinion. They’ll even gladly compare it to yours (with a list of reasons why yours is wrong). These kinds of debates, once heated into an argument, reflect poorly on both the individual who started it and the one who continues it.
The best response in this case is simply to not participate in the public show. By responding in a friendly way to the comment (refusing to agree or disagree with the opinion), ignoring it altogether, or offering to take the debate to a private setting, you preserve both your integrity and your reputation. Believe me, people will scroll through all 48 comments to see exactly what you said; it’s worth it to call “Cut” to the public show before it even begins.
6. Rating your friends is a dangerous game, no matter what form it takes.
I’ve seen this one in different forms: “Send me your name for a tbh and a rate” or the indirect comparison of “Here are my top 3 friends.” Regardless of which trend it follows, these games are dangerous to play. While it might make the top 3 people feel good or the 6+ rates feel popular, your other close friends will feel inferior and embarrassed. Even if the names were anonymous, they’ll know that you lowkey view them as a lesser friend. This starts a loop of comparison and insecurity that no one deserves – especially not from their friends. Consider how your responses could make a person feel (even if they don’t say a word about it), then determine your conduct from there.
7. Your future career may not seem like a major priority right now, but it will be one day. Set yourself up for success.
What you do now does matter. Even if you don’t have a single clue what you want to do in the long run or even just after high school, know that your social media will reflect on you in any field you choose. These are your future social connections, college classmates, professional relationships, and potential partners that we’re talking about here. That’s why we’re taking the time to discuss ways to stay classy on social media! Whatever you do, make sure that your pages are something you’re proud to share the username to and have future first impressions based on.
8. Read the entire post before you share it.
You can imagine how this tip can keep you out of some tough binds. My Mom always told me that sharing a post was like putting your “stamp of approval” on it. Since I started viewing posts that way, I became a little more selective about what I let appear on my feed.
(Side Note: People will notice the title of that account or the caption beneath the quote. Take care to check what the entire post says. Don’t share it unless you’re okay with people thinking you condone the language or messages contained within.)
9. Try to avoid cryptic “I’ll private message you” comments – they’re more disruptive than helpful.
“Disruptive to what?” you might be wondering. “It’s just for a private conversation for me and this other person.” Maybe so, but when comments like that respond to questions on serious topics – family emergencies, injuries, community concerns/events – it conveys a sort of haughty exclusivity that alienates other social media friends. If you want to message someone privately, just do so; no need to emphasize the fact that others share the same concerns but haven’t earned the “exclusivity” of full details. Taking this proactive step will often prevent ensuing drama as well.
10. Be genuinely yourself. Always.
What’s the point of all of this if you can’t have fun with it? Social Media is SO much fun when you don’t have to worry about it! After a while, these tips will become habit, and you can express yourself in unique, creative, personalized, classy ways.
Have fun while maintaining classiness! It’s just better to ask these questions now than later when a future employer or mentor might be viewing your page. People you connect with – professionally and casually – will respect you more if they see you pay attention to every part of your image.
Looking back through my profiles, I can see clear growth where my tastes, styles, or perspectives have changed. At the same time, I’ve never regretted adopting the strategy to stay classy on social media.
** Disclaimer: These are in no way meant to infringe upon anyone’s personal style or imply that all pages should be run the way I run mine. I myself am still learning, and my interests are forever changing. These tips are merely meant to help conduct profiles/pages in a way you’ll be proud to look back on, no matter where life takes you. As young people especially, it can be easy to forget that social media is how we build connections – professional, casual, familial, etc. By considering these ways to stay classy on social media, you can have a good foundation for your pages. In turn, you can focus on keeping in touch with old connections and making a good impression with new ones you meet along the way.
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